The foundation for good relationships

by: Paula White (Deal with it)

 

 

How do we develop healthy relationships? It is important that you form partnerships and associations based upon a common direction and the same destination

 

 

- A Common Direction. Yous must be in relationship with

people who have a common direction-common values

and goals. If you do not have a common direction, you

will be in conflict continually.

 

The most important question to ask in any relationship is,''Are you going in my way''

God's blessing is on unity among His people. God's word says, ''Keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and one Father of all, who is abve all, and through all, and in all'' (Eph.4:3-4). Marriages, families, ministries, businesses, churches, and friendships all need unity. They need to be based on the things that make us one.

 

To come into unity means t come into agreement. Agreement means ''to pursue a conscious decision to work together and meet by apointment.'' You must make a decision to walk in agreement with another person. You must make a decision to meet together with regularity to renew your aagreement and stay in agreement with our vision of evangelism and restauration. In a marriage, if one spouse want to live in the south part of the city and the other spouse wants to live in the north, there will be conflict. No agreement means no unity. No unity means no blessing.

 

Unity takes effort. The apostle Paul wrote to the Ephesians that in order to walk in unity and to walk worthy of the calling calling with which they were called, they had to have all ''lowliness and gentleness, with long-suffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep unity of the spirit in the bond of peace''(Eph.4:1-3). Lowliness means humility. Long-suffering means patience. Bearing and endeavoring are word related to working. It goes against our nature to be humble. It goes against our culture to be patient. It goes against human nature to be ''gentle and loving'' with people who are different from us. It goes against our pride to ''bear with'' other people in love and to endeavor to keep peace. But without unity and agreement, there is no bleesing.

 

-The Same Destination. To have the same destination is to

have a conscious commitment to a common goal.

 

When I met my Randy, he was much heavier than he is toda. He had a bowl haircut, and he wore green-velvet bow ties and platform shoes and polyester suits. He had no money.

 

I did not marry my husband for his looks, his fashion sense, or his wealth. The important point is all of those thigs could be changed without changing who Randy wason the inside. I knew a great barber, a good tailor, and an effective diet plan. What I never wanted to change, and knew I could not change, was the man Randy is on the inside. That is the authentic person. the genuine person is not the outside package, but the treasure, gifting, and values that are within. Many people falsely market themselves especially while dating. They sell themselves as beautiful, quiet, meek, and laid back. Then two years into the marriage they have an ''in your face'' attitude. You need to know a person before you enter into convenant with them. How do they treat people who they don't need in their lives? Where are they heading? What is their seatination? What do they value?

So many women meet men who are handsome and seem to have it all together in their appearances and careers they drives the big cars and have the flashy clothes and the polished looks and they marry those men before they truly know them. They end up falling for the exterior packaging and don't pay enough attetion to the gift inside. They spend years, decades, even their lifetimes trying to change the man on the inside. And you cannot change a person only God can change the natureof a person. Jeremiah 13:23 reminds us: ''Can an Ethipian change is skin, or  the leopard his spots? Then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to evil''

What a woman needs to do is to find a man who has the character and qualities she wants on the inside and make certain that he's moving toward the same goals in life that she has. The outside appearance is what can be changed, if necessary, as the months and years go by.

I married Randy because the more we got to know each other, the more we came to an understanding that we wanted to end up at the same place in life. I wasn't sure how we'd get there, but I knew we had the same goals and the same destination. We had a commondirection, but the most important thing was that we had the same destination mind. Our destination was identifiable. It was something we talked about. It was something we could focus on. It was something we both recognized and acknowledged as being very important.

God tells us clearly that He has a delibarate destination for us as His children. Jeremiah 29:11declares: ''For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,'' saith the Lord ''thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.'' God says His thoughts toward us are for peace, which in hebrew is shalom. It It literally means thoughts of safety, wellness, hapiness, great health, prosperity, favor, rest, and completeness. In other words, ''nothing missing and nothing broken'' from your life. God has an expected end for you.

Are the people you choose to have in your life going your same direction toward your same destination? Are you helping others and are they helping you to ''come to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God?''

***J'espèere que ce texte vous a plu et surtout exorté si vous le voulez en françcais n'hésitez pas èa le demander je ferais mon possible pour le traduire!!! Que Dieu vous bénisse!! :)